Emotional intelligence – Personally I feel that this means being able to adapt to different situations without having to impose yourself onto others.
Dictionary meaning – the capacity to be aware of, control and express ones emotions and handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.
Judiciously – with good judgement or sense.
Empathetically – having the ability to imagine how someone else feels.
I want to give you a glimpse of how I learnt from a young age that life is not for the faint hearted through a narrated story between my little sister and I. My family built me strong (a hard d#$* is nothing compared to how strong I am emotionally).
So my little sister and I just took a short left to our beloved eMpangeni where we grew up over a telephone conversation (she does this all the time when she feels like a good laugh). Qhamu is four years younger than me and we had the pleasure of growing up together during the years I stayed at the eMpangeni homestead before I moved to the big city.
Veeh do you remember this one time on new year’s eve when uRasta (we referred to my brother as Rasta because he had dreadlocks and had been on weed for as long as I could remember) got too drunk and was controlling everything and everyone at home and you ended up crying all night because you hated him for it😩 (this was followed by a few minutes of loud laughter between us).
Rasta was beautiful (tall dark and handsome 😍) very arrogant, loud and opinionated also. He was everything you have ever heard about a Zulu man. My sisters and I had been planning to have the night of our lives on new year’s eve with our friends from the area but my brother didn’t hear non of it, no sister of his was going to be roaming around at night without supervision ( apparently he didn’t trust the boys around our area). He walked in the kitchen and demanded attention as usual and gave us an instruction not to leave the yard because he’s concerned that it is not safe out there for girls, he said this and then immediately walked out. The room was silent you could hear a pin drop and a few seconds later everybody started talking again and we all agreed that it was unnecessary of him to do that and we did not need permission from him go out as long as mother was ok with it we were good.
I am not sure till this day if it was the weed and alcohol that made him behave that way but when my brother saw that we were going against his word and going out he completely lost it. He started calling us all sorts of names and told us to go back to the house and stop behaving like ungrounded ho@$😥. He got so loud that even the neighbours came out of their houses and listened to the commotion that took place at our homestead😲. They were used to him and I feel like they understood him more than I did so to them it was just another drunk episode from Rasta. He then turned to my mother and said “why are you letting them do whatever they want”? “If they come back pregnant tomorrow don’t say I didn’t warn you” he went on for over an hour and that time I was in tears (I know😪 I was such an emotional wreck growing up)😭 my sisters were having non of it and as for my mother all she said was “let the kids go and have fun you’re also having fun with your weed and booze”. She turned to me and tried to console me by wiping my tears 🤗 my brother on the other side tried to physically stop my sisters but he was too drunk they ran off and he went back to his room while mumbling stuff we could not make out. I was left crying on my mother’s arms I didn’t understand why my brother behaved the way he did (apperantly I made the whole thing to be about me, I basically felt as though everything he was saying was directed at me alone🤭🙈) mother took me back in the house and told me to stop worrying about Rasta because he probably won’t remember anything that he did the next day, he was just drunk and high. Unfortunately that was my the end of my new year’s eve I was too emotional to go anywhere after everything that happened.
Since then I have learnt how important it is to react or see situations for what they truly are and understand the difference in people’s behaviour . I now know why people tend to do the things they do, sometimes it is never even about you and your reaction to everything is entirely up to you. It is important to protect your peace regardless of whether you are protecting yourself from family or friends but if they no longer feel like sunlight I Want to put it to you that you need to be there for yourself too because you need take care of yourself too🤗😘.
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