Five Months blocked.

What happened with your blog? why don’t you write anymore?

You’ll probably thought i have fallen off the wagon huh, for those of you who thought i did well fact is i haven’t i am still standing firmly even though there has been a few distractions along the way which unfortunately i had no control over. Have you ever herd of the term ‘writers Block’? if its not so familiar i am happy to break it down for you; this is basically a condition that is primarily associated with writing in which the author losses the ability to produce new work, or experiences a creative slowdown (Clark, Irene. “invention.”concepts in composition : theory and practice in the teaching of writing. 2nd ed. New York : Routledge,2012.print.

I normally would just tell people that i am depressed and that i cant seem to find the connection with my creative side any longer. of course some of my friends would not believe me which was okay with me ( i couldn’t explain myself to each and every individual who inquired, it was highly impossible specially because i felt so heavy about the situation i was in). As much as it didn’t make sense to me why i could last fives minutes into opening my laptop its difficult having to explain it to the next person especially when you expect to be judged. I had a sudden fear of losing myself into this whole thing of writing and being labeled as a loser i feared being called mediocre more than anything i just wanted it to end so i can write again, it felt like i was on a loosing battle with my emotions and i just couldn’t get myself out of it. My mind was cluttered with bad vibes and could only focus on things that didn’t really matter.

The most important thing about writing to me is taking my reader through a journey, whether its a self discovery or an adventurous place using their imagination if i am unable to do this then it becomes purposeless and its quiet frustrating. I was at a stage where i could not reminisce on any of my interesting past experiences, everything was a blur and nothing made sense. I felt crippled with my own thoughts, i became a whole different person and it was the most darkest space i have ever been in since i began expressing my creative side to the outside world.

I have then discovered that writing for me is seasonal, there are times when i feel like i could say so much and actually say it with ease and then there’s times when my brain is frozen. this affects me not only mentally but physically as well, i either eat too much and gain 100’s of pounds or have a little too much wine and end up with massive headaches however i am not in the business of pleasing the next person my personal well being comes first otherwise there won’t be an aura to crave.

when i initially started my blog i wanted to touch on the deepest parts of my inner being and create a platform where people who either felt the same way or have had similar experiences engage and find my words therapeutic and beneficial to their lives. I appreciate each and everyone who of you who have been showing me endless love the efforts does not go unnoticed and i deeply humble myself for the support.

I have been unblocked…

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