-A Zulu South African. -28 years young. -unapologetically fierce. -a member of a very interesting polygamous clan.

For me its either sparkly or very dry, it depends on my mood and for tonight’s mood I’m having a STONEDALE2018 (CHENIN BLANC) which is locally produced and bottled by the burger family.

One of my good friends said something which made me think twice in a split second the other day. She said ‘you’re so lonely’, now usually crazy me would respond with a defensive savage answer but I couldn’t help but be still in the darkness of what i thought was shade. A part of me wanted to come hard at her and then I realised that maybe I needed to know where was her statement was coming from so i asked her to explain further and she said ‘you’re always drinking alone and hyping yourself up’ now from that moment i knew that her statement was not deeper than i initially thought it was and probably was coming from a good place.

It is very important to be able to analyze situations so that you can make the decision of whether your response is necessary or not because not everything needs your opinion or attention, take a second and think about what is being said and then respond with what your heart is telling you, this also saves you from being affected by things said to you that have nothing to do with you or your well-being.

If you are here to tell me that my glass isn’t for white wine I will smack you (kidding) I just enjoy drinking every type of wine from this glass (it kind of has a special place in my heart) you know those items you keep in your space with centimental values yeah this is one of them for me.

I started drinking when I got to varsity but that’s a story for another day. I enjoy the feeling of being squiffy due to alcohol and over the years it has got to a point where I want the feeling to last a little bit longer than just a few hours and on good days I Want to keep it until I am deep in my asleep and my soul is at peace. There is glory in the numbness after your first glass of your favorite drink (tell me I’m lying). It is like the feeling of becoming something great each and every time (if you’re a non drinker I hope ice cream and fizzy drinks takes you into this journey as well). Have you ever felt so happy and free from your reality that you want to tell strangers about your dreams of becoming a stripper, how you really want to tell your partner about their wack sex without you hurting their feelings, how you want to move to a different country and become the greatest but most modest in any industry that tickles your fancy. OK. These are just a few, I’m trying to give you an idea of how I’m feeling right now or anytime when the bottom of my glass is sky high.

People genuinely do not like being reminded of their habits especially the bad ones (don’t even think about it) drinking alcohol is not a bad habit unless you have been declaired by a medical doctor that youre an alchoholic and you need to seek help, there is absolutely nothing wrong with drinking responsibly with the mindset of just having a bit of fun or with the end goal of just relaxing whether you are doing it all by yourself or with company. You are probably wondering why I am saying this and it’s basically because people who are non drinkers tend to see those who do as alcoholics, not that I have a problem with people’s opinions but it’s always good to clear the air and let people understand you from the right perspective. I can enjoy a glass or two of wine every night or every second night or whatever the amounts of nights I choose to and still not be an alcoholic or have problems associated with being an alcoholic. It all depends on how you take it and your reasons for doing so.

I hope you enjoyed today’s ranting, my time here has come to an end for now.

Thanks for reading 😘

Yes you, im asking you don’t ignore me this its important.oh dear, why is your heart so weary? why are you so scared to find out whats on the other side? you think it will kill you dont you? but what if i told you that you have died a million times already without even realising it huh, would you believe me?

You probably thinking ive lost it right? like why is she rumbling so much right now🤔 i mean for those who know me personally they know I’m not about puzzles and riddles.

I know💁‍♂️ i suprise myself too sometimes like what the hell? why does my mind run wild sometimes.To be honest with you i dont know where im going with this, this is what sitting at the backseat of a taxi that doesnt seem like it will get full anytime soon does to you, you end up writting wedding vows for a husband you havent even met but i thought let me put this free time to good use and let you feed off the little energy i have left before working on a Sunday.Ever woken up full of positive energy and good vibes only🤔 where you feel like youre ready to conqure the world and then you take your first two steps and it still feels like Yes this is it ” i am on it” 🤗 hell, i buy myself wine and start celebrating, i know for a fact that it takes alot to reach that level of contentment because if you have anxiety as your friend you would know this feeling doesnt last for as long as we would like.i know you get me, there are days where you wake up each morning and greet your parner whether it is by an sms or with the biggest smile on your face (for those fortunate enough to wake up next to their love) because you feel like you have so much love to give. You draft your business plan and start asking people for advice on how you can actually execute it and you already see it happening. You walk out of your house and start greeting strangers because you feel like the world dederves a better version of you. You spread love without complaining about getting any of it back. You go out donating your time and belongings to the needy because you feel like your cup is full enough to pour for others in need. You check up on your friends and you make plans to see them soon. You call the familly, even those distant relatives that cant wait to attent your funeral. You walk into your workplace and start spreading love because you know the rest of your colleagues might be having it harder than you do. You pour out your heart to that someone you love so much even though you know it will all be in vain but you do it anyway because life is too short not to fall inlove.Ok enough with that, how about this;Have you ever i mean really, I’m weeping already as i think about thisHave you ever opened your eyes in the morning and thought oh Lord I’m still in this world.Do you know the days where you just want to wake and go to bed again. where you feel like the world would be better off without you. have you ever sat at a public place and thought hhayi No this has got to be a joke, this cant be the life you’re living. have you ever felt like love and relationships are for people who have their lives blooming and your situation makes it a little harder to love genuinely and you have too many other things that needs your attention.😣 Have you ever ignored your relatives phone calls because you felt like your fawl mood would dumpen theirs too and you dont want to be that person. I have taken routes that take longer to reach my destinstins just to avoid seeing farmilar faces and having to pretend that it was nice seeing them. I would lock myself in the room for as long as i need to just to shelter the little wit i have left in me ( i know you you have been here too, hence i used “I”)I know its crazy right😟 i mean to think that we go through these adjustments in our daily lives and we dont even realise how much impact it has on us.You probaly think i ramble too much sometimes dont you😊Yeah i know, iv heard that quite alot actually which is funny given the darkness that grows daily inside of me i still manage to hide it so well.If you stumbled upon this post and made a home on my blog let me tell you something;Ok well for some you probably know this already but i will tell you anyway🤷‍♀️There’s no such thing as an easy life but people hide their issues so well that you think they have it all together. You need to stop thinking that the universe owes you anything because it doesnt.Also stop stressing about growing old at that job your hate you’re gona tire yourself before your big break can actually come to life. If you hate it quit and find something that would stress you less.quit worrying about what the next person thinks about the way you live your life especially if they dont feed nor fund your dreams. Those devils will keep you at the rock bottom with their valueless opinions.leave that relationship that doesnt motivate you to be a better person, doent make you happy, doent take you to the bank or doesnt uplift your spirit. Start living for yourself. Start associating with people that have the same vision as you. Stop counting the years you have spent nursing a relationship or frindship and using that logic to stay in unhealthy affairs with people. learn to let go of things that doesnt contribute anything towards your wellbeing. You will not die!I woke feeling emotional today, its one of those days where i really dont want to communicate whats inside of me. I wana lie down and have it eat me up while i sip on a glass of dry red wine. I wana stay indoors and have no contact with the outside world because i feel i have endured more disappointments than i can take in one life next week would be better though ( i am speaking this into existence).I am sorry if i had lost you along the way. my enxiety squanders me too sometimes.What i actually wanted to say was that…Whatever it is that youre doing, keep at it and remember why you started.Love and light.

What happened with your blog? why don’t you write anymore?

You’ll probably thought i have fallen off the wagon huh, for those of you who thought i did well fact is i haven’t i am still standing firmly even though there has been a few distractions along the way which unfortunately i had no control over. Have you ever herd of the term ‘writers Block’? if its not so familiar i am happy to break it down for you; this is basically a condition that is primarily associated with writing in which the author losses the ability to produce new work, or experiences a creative slowdown (Clark, Irene. “invention.”concepts in composition : theory and practice in the teaching of writing. 2nd ed. New York : Routledge,2012.print.

I normally would just tell people that i am depressed and that i cant seem to find the connection with my creative side any longer. of course some of my friends would not believe me which was okay with me ( i couldn’t explain myself to each and every individual who inquired, it was highly impossible specially because i felt so heavy about the situation i was in). As much as it didn’t make sense to me why i could last fives minutes into opening my laptop its difficult having to explain it to the next person especially when you expect to be judged. I had a sudden fear of losing myself into this whole thing of writing and being labeled as a loser i feared being called mediocre more than anything i just wanted it to end so i can write again, it felt like i was on a loosing battle with my emotions and i just couldn’t get myself out of it. My mind was cluttered with bad vibes and could only focus on things that didn’t really matter.

The most important thing about writing to me is taking my reader through a journey, whether its a self discovery or an adventurous place using their imagination if i am unable to do this then it becomes purposeless and its quiet frustrating. I was at a stage where i could not reminisce on any of my interesting past experiences, everything was a blur and nothing made sense. I felt crippled with my own thoughts, i became a whole different person and it was the most darkest space i have ever been in since i began expressing my creative side to the outside world.

I have then discovered that writing for me is seasonal, there are times when i feel like i could say so much and actually say it with ease and then there’s times when my brain is frozen. this affects me not only mentally but physically as well, i either eat too much and gain 100’s of pounds or have a little too much wine and end up with massive headaches however i am not in the business of pleasing the next person my personal well being comes first otherwise there won’t be an aura to crave.

when i initially started my blog i wanted to touch on the deepest parts of my inner being and create a platform where people who either felt the same way or have had similar experiences engage and find my words therapeutic and beneficial to their lives. I appreciate each and everyone who of you who have been showing me endless love the efforts does not go unnoticed and i deeply humble myself for the support.

I have been unblocked…

Some of the cool items i have found in thrift shops around Port Elizabeth.

Thrifting is basically an ultimate example of one person’s trash being another person’s treasure. I remember my first experience of shopping in a hospice shop was in Pine town Durban with a colleague of mine who was already a master at it. At first I didn’t really understand but when she walked out with a bag full of clothes and cool vintage bags all for under R200 I suggested we go back the next so I could also find some cool and worth keeping, since then; before I go to a retail store to look for a certain item I like to make sure that it’s not available at all the thrift stores around my area. It was then when i discovered that the type of clothing i wanted was no longer sold at retail stores but with a bit of patience and persistence i would find some really cool items digging through dusty shelves and jumble racks in hospice second hand outlets.

Thrifting is a unique experience, from the excitement of finding something that you were not expecting to find to the defeat of  finding something really cool but in a wrong size and having to convince yourself that something is cooler than it it, but at end of it all even if you don”t get something that you were initially looking for you always walk out with something. thrifting is a lifestyle therefore it is not like regular shopping imagine finding timeless pieces of vintage items at an amazingly cheap price and the satisfaction that comes with the certainty that you will be the only person who own owns that particular item from your circle.

Here are some benefits of buying in thrift stores.

🌻Saving money ( thrift stores are so much cheaper than retail stores )

🌻One stop shop ( you can literally find everything you need in one store from clothing to home utilities

🌻Sale ( they sometimes have sale on items which are already low on prices which is even cooler

🌻Purpose ( hospice shops are basically charity work which serves a good purpose to the community at large

🌻New items on a daily basis

Here are a few cool items which i have found in thrift shops in the Bay.

This is one of my favourite items that I have had for over 6 years and believe it or not I paid only R30 for it at a hospice shop in Forest Hill Port Elizabeth. It is an easy to wear all seasons oversized Jersey that I can either wear with jeans, knee high boots with either a short or tights inside or just simply rock with a short denim skirt💕 I have had so many requests to give it away but not this one😍 it has become one sentimental valued item in my space.

I absolutely love these sky blue pants from Rink Street hospice shop which I bought for a whopping R20 back in 2016. I love the feel of the material in my body and the fact that they are easy to wear because they loose. I keep them for days when I want to look smart with a touch of my own style and usually pair them up with a crop top or a bodysuit of any bright colour either for a lunch or an easy stroll at the beach.

These are my all time favorites aswell. The black top/dress I got from a second hand shop this one time I was in Durban which costed me R15 even though it has become too short due to my growth I still rock it with a pair of either black jeans or black leggings with flat shoes or sneakers to create a more relaxed and playful look.  The pants I am wearing on the second picture are originally from @mango but I got them at a second hand shop in Durban Spring Field road. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the price of them  was 50 rand. The material and the design of these pants is timeless I have had them since 2013 and are still relevant even till this day.💓

This is a silk Sherwani which is traditional Indian wear for Men. I got this timeless piece at the Newton Park hospice shop in Port Elizabeth some time last year for only R50. I wear it over jeans and a  T-shirt as a coat just to add a bit of chic look to my outfit.💕

Last but not least this awesome over the bum coat is originally from @woolworths but its one of the few items I got from Coat King in Govern Mbeki Avenue in Port Elizabeth central for only R50. I can rock it both with a formal and casual look and it fits perfectly with any colour that I combine it with because it is in a greyish warm colour that goes with almost anything.

Not everyone is for thrift shops nor understand what they are about but what i can say it that it is a great opportunity to turn shopping into a creative act you basically get a chance to make something out of almost nothing and still make it look cool. There’s not greater freedom and self- actualisation. 

Thank you🤗

💓. @ daring woman @writers #iamwriter @booslay @movemagazine @glamourmagazine
#thrift #thrifstorefinds #thrifting #thriftstore